...as legend has it, this one brilliant young lad strolled
into Sandusky, Ohio on a chilly and foggy autumn evening back in 78 or 79. It
was there he came across a strong and bumbling brute by the name of J.T., with
whom he shared a few laughs. The young lad and J.T. became friends and often
talked of pirate lore with common folk in the area. A few close and personal
comrades of our young lad and J.T. suggested that they might sail around world
someday in search of whores and gold just as their ancestors did some years ago.
Our brilliant young lad contemplated the thought of travel for a minute, to
which he replied, we will not travel someday, we will travel tonight.
One
stolen ship (the Mateboat), 13 mates, and two hours later, the pirates of the
USS Mateboat were on their way to Indonesia for piles of gold and mobs of young
foreign sluts. 3 port lights were on that night, signifying plentiful whores and
plenty of booty to be snatched. Our brilliant young lad, now known as The
Captain, received directions from the Head Navigator to bring er in steady, and
Rear Admiral brought the stern around.
As
most of the mates ventured off for a night of looting and pillage, the Captain
with his parrot and his Co-Captain took to the local tavern for a few suds. As
the two were relieving themselves in the washroom after emptying many steins,
they heard screams from a stall in the corner. The Captain then kicked in the
door of the stall (he is bloke, he’ll just jump in a sink), to find a man
standing over a little boy. The little boy was being beaten and raped. His pants
were torn, his superman t-shirt ripped to shreds, and he was crying. Oh, that
awful crying. So the two mates beat down the man who was hurting the boy, and
the Captain snatched up the boy around the neck and dragged him out of the
tavern. The boy of course, wanted to stay with his newfound friends, but there
were no women or boys under eight years old allowed on the ship.
Later
that night, the small boy snuck onto the ship from the anchor. He stayed down
below in the barracks, hidden from all the mates until he turned the age of
eight. That boy became known as The Stowaway, James Harold Mossing I, one of the
many mates to eventually contribute in vast amounts of conquest and pillage. And
the rest they say is...
As told by the Co-Captain. What is your version?
Send it to us.