Past Events
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New News
■■■07-09-2006| L.A. Buns (aka P.M.) has lost it... Gets his 2nd Disorderly Conduct in a month, after throwing a barstool at a cop at the Riverfest. |
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VICE SQUAD choppers have been stolen. This makes future missions very difficult, especially in keeping "a low profile". Possible perp: Nate "the snake" Dubuque. Any leads, contact Det. Chotch McGillicutti ASAP. |
| L.A. Buns, the Powder Monkey, was arrested last night, May 5th, for Drunken Disorderly Conduct in Sandusky, Ohio. Congrats Adam, way to go!! Keepin' it real, but doin' it in Huron, Ohio. Whatsamattawitcha? |
| Can it be?... has the Co-Captain finally decided to settle down? He's pulled a new wench on the dinghy and tossed a ring at her, and it's no life preserver ring at that. That's right... our Co-Cap Casanova popped the question on Christmas Eve night, and the happy couple is enjoying their engagement. So welcome Kelley to the dinghy, and we'll see what tropical destination the U.S.S. Mateboat will be sailing to for the big day. |
| Watch the fuck out Seattle. Uncle Al is in charge. He's all moved out here now and ready to take over, helping the Plank Supervisor show this town what the Mateboat is all about. So long Wichita... They've already been spotted giving Alvin the proper introductions to the Emerald City. |
| Pics now online from another proper Pirate Production, The Gala of Pillage 2. |
| Congrats to the Water Technician who finally said "I do" to his long time girl, Trish. According to reports, the wedding was a low-key affair with immediate family only. Stay tuned as they may be having a bigger reception in the spring for all mates to invade and share in their wedded bliss. |
| Shiver me timbers! It's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrrrgh, if ye want to see how a real swashbuckler might say it, then check out the Pirate Speak translator, here. |
| THE next pirate soirée!! No Wheels Presents...
Gala of Pillage 2: Destination: the shores of Lake Columbia, Brooklyn, Michigan. Date: Sept 30th - Oct 2nd. Host: Jimmy No Wheels. Required: A mullet wig and an attitude. Extra bonus points for bringing your mateboat.com beer stein (available now at the online store). |
| Farewell party went down in NYC for The General as he sets sail for the land down under. You got it... the Dogger and his wench Tara are moving to Australia and will be making sure the ports of Oz are open for the U.S.S. Mateboat. |
| Meet Michael Baer. Michael Baer knows how to get down. See how he gets down in Chicago with our Co-Captain. |
| Attention ALL mates... a long lost pirate has recently resurfaced... you wouldn't believe it if I told you... word is on the street from the co-captain that THE CANNONBALL is back on the scene!! AND ladies watch out, wear your hottest panties... 'cause he's Hotter than ever. As such, the Cannonball is hereby taken off of probation. |
| The EVER popular VICE SQUAD is back at it. Det. Chotch McGillicutti is still deep " Undercover N Detroit", still nabbin' perps, and this time he had a lil' help from Det. Buns McGee (the Powder Monkey) and the lovely Agent L. Dubbs. |
| Mateboat.com now has an online store. Rock your pirate gear in style and support the mates. |
| Warning!! Uncle Alvin now has his own corner of the Mateboat.com web space to post his drunken ramblings and other offensive content for all to witness. Visit Uncle Al's Thoughts page now, and don't say we didn't warn you. He's probably already degraded and defiled something that you stand for or believe in, so feel free to send him some hate mail. |
| Detective Chotch McGillicutti has recently been spotted in Detroit. This time he's undercover and flyin' solo. We've managed to uncover some photographic evidence and other details of this stealthy new mission. |
| Over the long Independence Day weekend, our #1 Co-Captain was air-lifted from the ship and dropped on the Vegas strip for a long weekend of debauchery. Check out all the action here. |
| Check out updates to the Photo Gallery
with new pics from the Captain's 30th and a recent Mateboat excursion to Put-in-Bay. Also, be sure to give your senses a treat with some hot new tender morsels of the Sweet-E "Monster" Meade. |
| Our newest mate, the Powder Monkey, shows us all what not to do when you're drunk. |
| Happy 30th Birthday to Jason on Friday the 13th. That's right... our Captain turns the big 3-0 today. Check back for some scandalous pics from this momentous occasion. |
| Guess what?... We now have an official Mateboat.com bulletin board. So head on over to the new Forum and post all your thoughts about how much you love the mates. |
| For all you ladies that keep asking us what it takes to get on the dinghy, you might find some pointers here. |
| Mateboat.com moves to a new web server with some actual bandwidth. Maybe we'll start doing something with this site again. |
Old News
■■■12-25-2003| It's a pirate X-mas afterall. Check out a few pics from the 3rd annual Greentree Christmas party... penthouse style! |
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| After over a year hiatus, Mateboat.com is back online with a new look and a new home! |
| A Pirate contingent has now formed in the East with the Head Navigator, Rear Admiral, the General, and the Bounty Hunter all currently anchored in NYC. The Co-Captain is planning an inspection of their ship and quarters this New Year's Eve. |
| Well, well... the Dinghy Recruiter has officially tied the knot. And we're not talking about some cleat hitch at the dock when the U.S.S. Mateboat comes to port. At least the Mates had a swinging bachelor party for his send off. Check it out as the Mates re-take Vegas. |
| The 1st Annual Winter Gala of Pillage went off without a hitch. The Mullet Boys rocked the house, and the cops only showed up once. You can check out all of the debauchery here. |
| Check out the new
official snack food of mateboat.com. It's booty-licious. |
| New mateboat.com moderator has been assigned (Da plank supervisor) Any suggestions submit here. Thanks to Chopper for finally getting the ftp server up. |
| A few mates have walked the plank. GoodBye Enforcer, Goodbye Viking, we're sorry you guys were such pussies. Note: if you're a viking, you must have a mullet. If you shave it, you walk. We are currently taking applications for a new Viking. |
| Muddy insists on flexing in every photo of our missions, check out his page |
| Keg Race coming up, stay tuned for dates and time. |
| Derek the Head Navigator has received two new nicknames: Dennis & Darryl |
| The Cannonball, hot kid Joseph LaGanke, has been put on probation due to his lack of concern for pirate affairs. |
| Mateboat Adventure. Read about it here. |
| Manly Mustache competition has ended with MRP being declared winner by default. |
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| The Tri-Lambs were robbed in the recent keg race, we will have our revenge this quarter Stay Tuned for the new race coming up. |
| Our gorgeous lounge singer, qwik six, has got himself engaged. Congratulate him when you see him. |
| Big Rug Tadero is currently dating a 32 year-old hussy, way'd a go rug. |
| Our Co-Captain made the top 100 in the competition for the next Real World, but was robbed, fuck you MTV. |
| Bry-T former "Dinghy Capt." is in Italy, taking care of overseas business. Reports say he has picked himself up a nice BMW. |
| Our beloved Captain has pulled up anchor, and moved to Boston to become one hot modeling/acting stud. Reports say: "He's been drinkin' beer!" |
| Congratulations to John Pipe, he is the Lambda Lambda Lambda graduate of the year. |
| Derek tag's people's girlfriends |
| Bowling Leagues Have Started, check it out here |
| BryT heading to Italy, send-off bash Oct 7th, in Huron |
| As many of you in Cincy might have smelt, it is confirmed that "stink ass" has returned |
Joni Speilberger has hear by been removed from the Dinghy, she walked the plank on
Oct. 1, The Chief Sunbather position is now available, ladies
here's your chance. |
